Things I Can Do

Pump out lesson plans in 15 minutes.
Kill scorpions.
Make friends.  Earn student trust.
Move three cubic meters of wood up four flights and stack it in one day.
Fix my plumbing.
Tell giant seniors what's what without breaking a sweat.
Make yogurt - yep.
Politely put away ceremonial shots of raki (Albanian national moonshine) in the company of tipsy old men.
Start and maintain a fire in a woodstove without a flue.
Pacify irate landlords.
Frighten wild dogs.
Make fig preserves.
Lean into prevailing mountain winds without falling over.
Teach hideous amounts of grammar.
Identify the forest mushrooms you can eat and the dandelion greens that are good for stewing, frying, and raw consumption.
Sponge bathe for six consecutive weeks.
Boil a decent Turkish coffee.
Catch runaway sheep and chicks.
Write a grant.
Cook on a bumble - every day.
Strain sweet wine.
Conduct a parent-teacher conference in a room full of people who don't speak my native language.
Look good in four day-old hair.
Hitch hike.
Pickle peppers.
Cut onions and tomatoes in my hand with a butter knife - look Ma, no board!
Speak ALBANIAN.